How to let go of the internet and my long history of internet friends?

Question by fudgesicles: How to let go of the internet and my long history of internet friends?
I have spent SO much time on the internet throughout my life. I started going on the computer when I was like 7 or something, and would just play games on like the Cartoon Network website. Then I started playing Runescape when I was only like 9! I had ‘friends’ on it that I would talk to… until this one person told me they were actually 45 and were going to kill me (pretty sure that was a lie.. in any case it hasn’t happened yet)… so I got freaked out and didn’t talk to people on the internet for awhile. But then I started going on Club Penguin, this game for kids where you play as a penguin, and you can talk and interact with the other people/penguins. I made ‘friends’ on there, too, mostly this one girl Carlee. So we talked and she told me to make a Myspace to add her, so I did. And we talked a lot for awhile, but eventually stopped when she got to age 13/14 (she was a few years older than me). (Btw, she was a totally normal, nice chick.) There were other ‘friends’ from Club Penguin, too, but Carlee was the main one (I have since lost track of her and I no longer know where or how she is).

THEN I started going on this kiddie Social Network for Club Penguin players, and I somehow met these two people the same age as me who I seriously love. We three became friends and used to talk all the time. It was kind of sweet, really. The boy and I used to talk like every day after school in junior high, just as friends. We would talk about music, school, our feelings, etc. And the girl and I would exchange these super long messages about what was going on in our lives, things we liked, etc. — Almost like letters. So I guess we were kind of like pen-pals, huh? That sounds better than “internet friend”.

Anywayy, as we got older and entered high school we stopped talking on there, but added each other on facebook. Now we rarely talk. We always said we would go on a cross-country road trip and pick each other up when we turned 18… We’re 17 now; I don’t think that’s going to happen… although we do say hi occasionally.

THEN in their absence from my web-life I started going on a gaming site called OMGPOP, where I met a lot of people from all over the world. I met this girl from China that I would talk to; she was nice. I met this guy living in Bangladesh that was REALLY smart. I used to play a word game with a 33-year-old author! (Seriously, I even know his name and the name of his book and his twitter account). He would give me sage advice and one day said, “If there comes a time that I won’t come on here any longer… take care,” or something like that. (He had a little girl.)

I met these people from Texas, and then these other people from Texas. I started talking to the other people from Texas more, and they became my ‘main’ friends on the site. I added them on facebook and talk to them sometimes, though we stopped going on Omgpop so much. (We talked mostly while they were seniors in high school — they went to the same school and are good friends in real life — and I was a freshman)

Sooo now I’m plodding along, don’t really have any ‘current’ internet friends… when I accidentally meet this guy on Omgpop by getting into this long philosophical discussion. So then we start having these long talks like once a week about everything and anything. He’s an NYU student who doesn’t hang out with friends that much (I mean, of course he could be lying; but I don’t think so). We have this incredible mental connection where we understand each other perfectly. It’s really weird.

THEN this guy messaged me from this group for introverts on facebook after I posted about being lonely. He said he was lonely too and needed someone to talk to. He added me on facebook, I was hesitant, but added him. We got to talking and just in the past week have talked a lot. He’s totally nice and harmless and nerdy, don’t worry. But yeah, we connect really well.

And that’s the history of my internet life.

People joke about being married to the computer, but that’s seriously how I feel.
I feel like I’ve had more meaningful connections with people than I’ve had in real life.
I always felt ostracized by peers, beginning at the ripe old age of five years old when I would play hide-and-seek with girls who wouldn’t come find me.

I have had friends throughout my life, but I always felt like I was the one that noone really liked (and I believe I usually was). I lost friend group after friend group, sometimes gradually; sometimes suddenly.

I believe people have historically been uninterested in me for the classic reasons — not cool, pretty, exciting enough; too introverted, a little dark. I gained weight in junior high, my hair got frizzier and my nose got bigger.

I don’t want to lose touch with all my internet friends– mostly the 2 from Texas, the 2 from the kiddie social network (even though I hardly ever talk to them anymore), the guy from Omgpop, and the guy that I j
ust met.

But I DO want to get off my *** and go out and make some real friends and stop spending my weekends tied to the computer. I want to have real-life experiences and not feel like I have to go on the computer to connect with another human being.

I DO have friends in real life. I’m not that socially awkward and I’m an intelligent, high-achieving student. I do a few extracurriculars. But I feel like the friends I have now — although nice — aren’t really the best fit for me. Or at least the best fit for my ONLY friends.

Part of the problem is that I live in this tight-knit suburb where a lot of the friend groups were established in preschool (seriously).

Anyway, I feel really bad about my life when I think of how much time I’ve spent of it on the computer being a slug, and how the best friends I’ve ever had I interacted with through a screen and maybe the phone, and how even with them we were destined to drift apart since we didn’t have the physical co

Best answer:

You have an addiction like millions of people do.
They consider strangers they never met friends.
To me most are like cartoon characters.
You can not even depend on real life friends,so there
is no way the majority of them care even a bit about you.
Its a game.Get the phone numbers of the ones you trust.
Be very careful.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

Bookmark and Share
Tags : , , ,

One thought on “How to let go of the internet and my long history of internet friends?”

Leave a Reply